This is killing my unproductivity.
Oh billy, I hope “forgets the punchline gorilla” meme catches on.
This is one of the most hilarious threads I’ve ever come across. I’m finding it quite difficult to sit in the office and not giggle/ snort/ pee my pants.
Personally, I thought women got pregnant because men hugged them too hard. I was afraid of tight hugs for a while there.
Also, I thought that my parents grew up in the 1800s. I pictured my mom as a child in a horse-drawn carriage and my dad dressed up in colonial garb and shoes with big gold buckles on them. I used to stall when my parents were putting me to bed by asking them about “the olden days”. I’m surprised my parents didn’t suffocate me with my pillow.
Also, it took me a really long time to grasp the concept that my grandparents were my parent’s parents. I thought they were just old people that were friendly.
This last one is a little embarrassing because I was quite a bit older, but I used to think that once you got your period, you had it forever and it never stopped.
Some of my favorite responses from the thread are:
“I thought the rubber mats just outside of automatic sliding doors were there to smell your feet and open the door if the mat could smell feet on it.”
“Bees flew into vaginas, stung them, birds flew out of the vaginas and then delivered babies. That’s where we came from.”
“I used to think as a kid that when you flushed your poop, it would go down to an underground room where skeletons were sitting at a dinner table with empty bowls waiting for your poop to be flushed down the pipes and into their bowls from a pipe above them. Then they would eat it, and that’s how poop goes away.”
“I used to think that women urinated blue ink and that’s what those maxi-pads were for.”
“I used to think the turning signal in a car was actually telling you which way to turn. And I was amazed that I was born on my birthday, of all days!”
“I thought that farts came out of your asshole in pink bubbles (like gum? I have no fucking idea) When I had to fart, I would run into the bathroom, throw my pants down, and look in the mirror to see if I could catch a glimpse of the pink bubble emerging.”
“That people in Ethiopia were starving because they spent all the food money to get perms.”
“I saw the word “pedophile” used somewhere on the TV (I was 11 years old approximately). When I asked my parents what it meant, they told me it was someone who “liked kids a lot”. So I went around school asking teachers if they were pedophiles, and when they said quite shocked that they weren’t, I would ask them why not.”